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Illya Starikov

Maposaurus, Napoleon, and 380,000 Steps

Evil Maposaurus prepare to meet your doom. Our hero has the power, glovebox is your tomb. Grab your Garmin take on the world.

The year is 2007: the iPhone launches, The Sopranos series finale airs, and Britney Spears may or may not have hair. It’s Super Bowl XLI — the Chicago Bears vs. the Indianapolis Colts. It’s the first Super Bowl played in the rain, and we’re heading into halftime with the Bears only down by two. Sadly, they would never recover. And the world would never recover from one of the greatest commercials of all time.

I’m talking about Maposaurus. A tongue-in-cheek homage to Ultraman, this commercial featured a befuddled driver fumbling with a giant paper map — remember those? — which bursts into life as a rampaging "Maposaurus" monster. A passerby pulls out his Garmin in-car GPS unit — remember those? — and, in true Ultraman fashion, transforms into a laser-shooting hero and defeats the beast. There’s even a sick rock soundtrack to go with it.

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Evil Maposaurus, prepare to meet your doom.
Our hero has the power, glovebox is your tomb.
Grab your Garmin, take on the world.
Grab your Garmin, every boy and girl.
GPS, power, space, and truth.
MP3, traffic alerts, Bluetooth.
The champion of personal navigation. Garmin.

This commercial would go on to receive critical acclaim — and how couldn’t it?

Garmin returned the next year with another clever concept: Napoleon. Racing a red sports car through modern-day Paris, he relies on his trusty Garmin to guide him to battle. When the car screeches to a halt at its destination, Napoleon leaps out expecting war glory — only to be met by his troops presenting him with a small white pony instead of an army. I guess the joke is: even history’s greatest general can’t tell where he is without GPS.

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While Napoleon didn’t receive quite the same praise as Maposaurus, both ads are emblematic of Garmin’s cultural moment — the undisputed leader in in-car navigation. When I told people I worked at Garmin, the #1 response I got was: “The car GPS thing?” Another industry, turned into an app on your home screen.

I first saw Maposaurus during my second internship at Garmin, thanks to my then-mentor Alex. I carried that lore with me into my first full-time job the next year. When it came time for the annual corporate walking/step challenge, I already had the perfect team name: Maposaurus. While I don’t have hard proof, I distinctly remember:

  • I placed in the top 19 out of > 200 individuals
    • Walking ~380,000 steps over 1 month
  • Maposaurus ranked in the top 5 out of > 40 teams

By the end of the competition, others were inspired — and even copied our headers!

Happy Birthday, Bodie🐈

Orange is the sky’s way of smiling before it says goodnight.

Today, Bodie turns a whopping 14 years old. We took him into our home in January 2023 from Taylor’s parents, and these two years have been filled with nothing but love, paw prints on my face at 3 a.m., and many servings of sous-vide fine meats. Today, he’s getting steak tips.

Bodie's first day in his new home

First off, he’s doing great considering his hyperthyroidism. He was diagnosed about two years ago, and typically cats have a life expectancy of 1–3 years after diagnosis. But as you can see from the photos, he’s looking mighty healthy. Just like in everything else he does, I know he’ll far outlive expectations.

These days, he has many hobbies:

  • Going outside. He’s loving the California sun — and the blessed lack of mosquitoes. He enjoys it so much that he tries to sneak out now. He succeeded once, and the taste of freedom hooked him. He loves rummaging through bushes, rolling in the dirt, and getting pets from everyone in the neighborhood.
  • Sous-vide or pressure-cooked chicken and beef. With hyperthyroidism, he needs an ample supply of food. Cats can’t have seasoning or oils, and while they can eat raw meat, we prefer cooking it to reduce the risk of bacteria in store-bought cuts. That rules out the skillet (too sticky), and while boiling works, would you eat boiled meat? If he’s not getting wet food, he needs all the moisture he can get from what he eats. So now I sous-vide the meats, or Taylor pressure-cooks them.
  • ** Heating pads.** It gets cold here at night, so we set out a heating blanket for him on low with a timer. Or he’ll just sleep on one of us — whichever’s closer.
  • Cat wheel. We got it for Mallory to exercise on, but neither of them really used it for that. Bodie does love kneading it, though!
  • Obsessing over shoes. I’d rather not get into this one...
  • Screaming in the middle of the night. He doesn’t want to come to you — he wants you to come to him. Whether he’s bored, hungry, or lonely, you can count on a raspy meow echoing through the darkness.
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Bodie scream
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All in all, he lives a good life, despite the odds. He has arthritis in his paws, so he buckles every now and then. He sits and watches the world with calm detachment, occasionally blessing it with a slow blink. He’s taught me the virtues of patience, the joy of companionship, and the beauty of routines that don’t need any words.

I look forward to many more moments curled up in sunlight, many more screams at the bottom of the stairs for food, and — hopefully — no more surprise escapes.

Happy 14th Birthday, Bodie. 🍊

University of Missouri At Rolla featured in The Simpsons

It’s not often my college — Missouri University of Science and Technology, aka Missouri S&T — makes an appearance in pop culture. When it does, it’s kind of a big deal; at least me.

So I was incredibly happy to discover that Missouri S&T was featured in the Simpsons. This Reddit thread is where I found this, which lays out the premise:

Lisa was increasing her college tuition budget by gambling online. Every time she won more money, she changed her sweater to a "better" college. We [Rolla] are better than Springfield Community College and worse than Harvard, Yale, Oxford. — u/bullhonke
Lisa Simpsons featuring a retro Missouri S&T sweater (S24 E4, 11:40)

It’s fitting, at least for those of us who had the great honor of studying under the legendary Clayton Price. Price taught computer science and was well-known for making his (difficult) assignments based on his favorite show: the Simpsons. I assume many former-students have nightmares in the middle of the night, trying to articulate Bart and Homer doing something comical into code.

The irony is this episode aired 2012, and I never saw this during my tenure. Additionally this was almost a decade after Mr. Price famously got rid of his television, so clearly he never saw it either. But it’s heartwarming to us Missouri S&T alumni to know we existed in a timeline where this episode, Price, and our experiences at Rolla co-existed.

Video Game Vault 👾

The pixels and polygons I played with growing up.

PC

Nintendo 64

Gameboy Advance

PS2

PSP

Xbox 360

Stadia

Nintendo Switch

PS5

Blackwell // 2024

Last week I traveled back to my parents. After a rewarding yet exhausting month at work, travel, and COVID, I felt it was time to reconnect with nature.

My mom and I moved to Blackwell in April of 2001, where I would remain until I graduated high school. The house has belong to my dad’s family for over 40 years now, it bears a lot of memories in its wooden bones.

The house is as rural as they come: the closest neighbor is a mile away and the closest town fifteen, everyone asks how you are even if they don’t know you, sometimes cows escape and you have to corral them back to Donna’s house. It’s quant and rustic, traditional, slow-paced and remote. A place for me to be one with the trees.

During my stay I got lots of family time. My mom’s favorite past time is going for a walk down to the river. Dad and I have more of a TV dynamic, and we mean business. In the five days of consumption we managed to watch two 2hr movies and ten episodes of friends — regularly finishing up around 1am. My sister and I do the same thing we’ve been doing since she was young: video games, namely, Mario Kart and Smash Bros.

Along with my parents, there’s a lovely dog Marley and Satan-disguised-as-a-bird George.

When I wasn’t home with my parents, we were visiting extended family. A friend of the family Kim put up a barn with a disco ball. We played board games — and I played Settlers of Catan for the first time! We had our ceremonial steak dinner at Texas Roadhouse. Steak — and meat in general — is a staple of our home. So much so, we had it for five meals.

Along with steaks, my mom took time to make some Ukrainian staples: borscht and holubsi. I only have photos of mom making them. By the time everything was finished cooking I had a singular focus: food in my belly.

Besides family time, we were able to see some really iconic sites.

We got to see my Alma Mater Missouri S&T. I was proud to show my parents the same buildings I spent four years in. Toomey Hall, where I was part of the S&T Satellite Team, who recently launched a satellite into space! The library, where I spent so much time that I found the optimal nap spots. The computer science building, which finally got an expansion it so desperately needed. I also got to see my grandma’s house near the college; it felt like a genuine legacy moment.

It wouldn’t be home if I didn’t talk about the nature. Although we have a state park a mere five minutes away, the nature is plentiful right outside the door. Going on a walk you might see something new every day.

Now, I returned to the Bay Area. Refreshed, recharged, ready to tackle new problems in new ways. Until next time, Mom and Dad.

Played Podcasts 🎧

A decade's-long playlist from all my commutes.

Podcasts

Settings

  • Default Speed 1.1x
  • Smart Speed Yes
  • Voice Boost Yes
  • Seek Back By 15 seconds
  • Seek Forward By 30 seconds
  • Stop After Each Episode Yes
  • Smart Resume Yes
  • Seek Acceleration Yes
  • Play Top Episode Next Yes
  • Smart Speed Saved 222 hours 222 hours saved using smart speed, likely using speeds of +.05x to +.35x, resulting in total podcasts of 25 days to 185 days; averaging out to ~40 minutes/day over 10 years.

Playlists

  1. Primary podcasts are my favorites, and are more ephemeral and current-event than normal.
  2. Secondary podcasts are there when I want to unplug from current-events and listen to something different.
  3. In Progress podcasts are podcasts I have started but have not completed. This often happens when there a movie, book, or game is brought up I have not played.
  4. Relax podcasts, well, help me relax. I often use these to go to bed
  5. Partner podcasts can be played with my partner at anytime, likely when commuting together.
  6. Starred podcasts were my favorite throughout years. Nostalgia.
  7. All Episodes is a complete listing of every podcast I have downloaded.

Players

THe following are recommended podcast players on iOS.

  • Overcast
    • Great overall experience
    • Developer is a podcaster
    • Smart Speed, Voice Boost
  • Castro
    • Beautiful design
    • Novel podcast management: manage a queue instead of playlists
    • Trim Silence, Enhance Voices
  • Pocket Casts
    • Video support
    • Great web player
    • Trim Silence, Volume Boost
  • Spotify
    • Many exclusives
    • Mix music and playlist
  • Apple Podcasts
    • Largest podcast bank
    • Apple ecosystem integration

Use Cases

  • Fall Asleep
  • Learn Ukrainian
  • In the car
  • While stretching
  • While prepping for dinner
  • While grinding, video games

Bookmarked Books 📚

So many books, so little time.

The following are my favorite books I’ve read. I’ve added them here in the hopes you might like some of them too. For a full list, check out my Goodreads.

Fiction

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (Harry Potter, #1…
Harry Potter has no idea how famous he is. That’s becau…
And Then There Were None
First, there were ten—a curious assortment of strangers…
The Great Gatsby
The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald’s third book, sta…
  1. The Harry Potter series 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
  2. And Then There Were None
  3. The Great Gatsby
  4. Treasure Island

Non-Fiction

Red Famine: Stalin’s War on Ukraine
The momentous new book from the Pulitzer Prize-winning …
American Prometheus
PULITZER PRIZE WINNER • The definitive biography of J. …
Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivit…
In today’s world, yesterday’s methods just don’t work. …
  1. Red Famine: Stalin's War on Ukraine
  2. American Prometheus
  3. Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity
  4. I'm Glad My Mom Died
  5. Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly
  6. The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking
  7. The Gates of Europe: A History of Ukraine
  8. Masters of Doom: How Two Guys Created an Empire and Transformed Pop Culture
  9. The Hidden Brain: How Our Unconscious Minds Elect Presidents, Control Markets, Wage Wars, and Save Our Lives
  10. Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
  11. How Google Works
  12. The Theory of Poker: A Professional Poker Player Teaches You How To Think Like One

Textbooks

The Algorithm Design Manual
This volume helps take some of the “mystery” out of ide…
Introduction to Evolutionary Computing (Natural Computi…
Evolutionary Computing is the collective name for a ran…
Effective Modern C++: 42 Specific Ways to Improve Your …
Coming to grips with C++11 and C++14 is more than a mat…
  1. The Algorithm Design Manual
  2. Introduction to Evolutionary Computing
  3. Effective Modern C++: 42 Specific Ways to Improve Your Use of C++11 and C++14
  4. Modern Vim: Craft Your Development Environment with Vim 8 and Neovim

Ukrainian Holidays 🇺🇦

  • New Year’s Day Новий Рік January 1
  • Unity Day January 16
  • Cyborg Remembrance Day January 20
  • Mourning Day of the Beginning of the Russian invasion of Ukraine February 24
  • International Women’s Day Міжнародний жіночий день March 8
  • Labour Day День праці May 1
  • Easter
  • Second World War Remembrance Day May 7
  • Victory Day (over Nazism in World War II) ‌День пам'яті та перемоги над нацизмом у Другій світовій війні May 8
  • Trinity (Pentecost) Трійця
  • Constitution Day День Конституції України June 28
  • Statehood Day День Української Державності July 15
  • Flag Day August 23
  • Independence Day of Ukraine День Незалежності України August 24
  • Day of Knowledge September 1
  • Ukraine Defender Day День захисників і захисниць України October 1
  • Teacher’s Day October 2
  • Holodomor Memorial Day Final Saturday of November
  • Armed Forces of Ukraine Day December 6
  • Christmas Різдво Христове December 25